1:30: I'm 20 minutes late today. I woke up at 10 this morning and I was gonna call someone and then didn't. I got up slowly and made coffee.Then I tidied the livingroom around JD's comatose body. Then I made bacon & eggs and woke up Al Pal, who was looking the worse for wear on account of his two and a half glasses of wine last night. Tsk. He wanted to know why there was pen on his fingers. So we leave the house way late and get a coffee and smokes. Then JD leaves to meethis stepdad, I go to work, and Al Pal goes home, I think. So I peel to work, chainsmoking and spilling coffee on my SPCA gloves. I get here very late, swipe in, fill my water bottle, exhange pleasantries with Anna and chug some water before I finally sign on the phone, 20 minutes late. My first few calls go well, in that I don't screw anythingup because unlike yesterday, I am sobre.
1:53: I'm already sick of this and want to go home, but not to the extreme to which I'll feel come 8 hours from now. I have to be hereuntil 11 o'clock, and this does not bode well with me, at all. I shouldn't be writing this at work because I'm going to be in shit. Not that I'm captain fantastic at work lately. The high school-esque aspectof the job has worn out it's novelty and now it just sucks.
2:08: I hate myself.
2:30: I wish I was brainstorming and researching and writing for Cityis Dark, but I am not. No one ever asks me why I'm constantly writingmy name in my own personal font, with various titles and creative underlinesthat aren't really that creative if you can see my tattoos. I need a lot more tattoos than I have, and the reason for that is that no oneis ever taken aback by how many tattoos I have. The best part of todayis how my hair looks. That is not ironic. I've listened to the song'Nebraska' at least 15 times already today. I'm sore everywhere includingmy eyeballs. For no reason at all. Every call makes me slightly dumber,which is why I should be reading Tom Wolfe right now instead of blogging.
3:02: I'm really anxious and shaky and my palms are sweating. This meansI need a cigarette, or I just can't handle everyday life. Who knows? Ihave a break in 18 minutes and right now I'm in wrap up for no good reason.(Sorry for the jargon.) I have Atlantic City stuck in my head even though every time it's come on my iPod today I've skipped to Johnny 99. Some girlsare too hot. Sorry. 11 minutes. There are two ways to know that your jobsucks: One was brought to my attention by Chris Rock, who said that if you are an adult and you have a half-hour lunch break, your job sucks. The otherI was talking about with JD last night, and that's if you find yourselflooking at the time 20 times an hour. The last call I took frustrated me morethan anything that's happened in like a week.
3:20: SMOKE.
3:41: How the fuck am I 6 minutes late? You know what, though, fuck a 15 minute break. If I had one smoke I could totally do it, but that's just nothappening, at least not if they don't want me to freak out and peel. Which would hurt me more than them.
4:04: This is going to be long, I guess. It is definitely winter now, and I know that because I was depressed for no reason all last night. Despite the wine and dessert. But on the plus side, I should be able to write a lot of thisalbum in the next two weeks. Maybe not, I can never tell. I wish I had some uppers. I'm msg-ing with Jamie Fagan right now, as I will be until he goes home, which apparently won't be long because he usually isn't here until 4:30.I just made this woman's life and all I had to do was put some letters in some places. This is not a rewarding job. My smoke break was pretty pleasant though, on account of Frank the Tank rushing to the smoke shack to see whassup. I hopeI don't get fired. Sort of. I am way too anxious right now. I bet I can getsome pills covered if I use my new medical coverage here. Hmm.
4:20: Yes, I did that on purpose. I always notice when it's 4:20, whether youthink that's lame or not. I definitely agree with you though. I want to make an old timer friendly country album with lots of references to where I grew upand the cruelty and compassion of the church. A little.
4:47: I was just monitered. Fortunately both calls went really well, so it's better than the monitorials I didn't know about.
5:00: 30 minutes. Then I get to smoke 3 cigarettes and fill up my water bottle.I should bring food, maybe. I never think to do that, even though I have severallunch type items in my cupbert. I can always tell when I'm reading Klosterman a lot. I would like to write a comprehensive review of something. I think oneof my dreams is to have a journalist with some credibility review my album andnot say it sucks. I don't even need them to say I'm incredible (that's what groupiesare for) I just would like them to be like, 'this should exist.' I'll most likely be like Ryan Adams. I'll release my first album to much critical acclaim and then everyone will pretend I haven't improved 12 years later even if I make the bestalbum of my career.
6:04: So my lunch is over, and I'm listening to myself in my headphones, althoughif anyone asks I'm listening to Nebraska again. I'm gonna reply to some e-mails.Fuck. There are 4 calls waiting, so I'm not getting wished out tonight at all.Okay it's down to none, maybe everything will be okay. Next break is an hour and a half. I can do this.
6:09: I like vertical stripes. Outlook is a lot like facebook chat but at work.I wonder what I would tell someone if they asked me why the album is called City is Dark. I'll get back to you on that.
6:35: City is dark refers to the...um. Uh. I write at night? Yeh. I write at night a lot and I find myself wandering around the city's center year roundin the middle of the night, especially on weekdays. Also it sounds good. Alsoit sucks being outside at night in December if you're at all sobre. I still feel like shit.
6:50: I just killed 5 minutes by going to the bathroom. I check my hair andmake faces at myself. I also threw up a Wu sign to Frank. I haven't transferredanyone today. Wierd.
7:00: Yeh, it's cold lord/ on our front porch/ the gavel fallin, for my old man/snow fills his boots/ in frostbit stardust/ night is dark, lord, the city sucks.Snow is fallin, on our pavement/ tears are frozen, to her cheeks/ she says I don'tpray dad, and they won't let me in the church.
7:52: I have one more smoke break before 11. I am not getting wished, and thatis all there is to it. Fuck. One more day after this and I can relax for three days, although I'm sure there will be plenty of things I'll have to get into those days. Maybe JD will want to do some DXM this week. IT seems like he would.Not that I'm that kinda guy, but I guess I almost am. I should read something on wikipedia. Thus learning something. I want a hard manual labour union job andalso some 40-year-old scotch. Reach for the stars.
8:15: The last customer I had was the best I've had so far. He was from Albertaand he just kept swearing casually, which I think is awesome. Then when I askedfor his credit card he was like, 'Alright, let's see how fast you can do this, you ready?' and obviously I was like, 'yup,' and he spat out the numbers as fast aspossible but I'm fucking awesome so I got all the numbers correct. He was very impressed, of this I'm sure, because he asked me if I was shitting him. I wasn't.
8:33: Anna's gone, so now I have to keep to myself for 2 and a half hours, whichis cool, as I am apparently super involved in this blog post. I really fucking wish they would send me home. I guess that's why it's called the wish list. Here's thething about being here this long: my brain is now mush, for the most part, and I feel like a robot (but a rebellious robot who just wants to break free and breaksome robot hearts).
8:56: .
9:00: I saw her standin on her front lawn, just a twirlin her baton.
9:18: The funniest name I've heard today is Candy Hatch. Awesome.
9:56: You know what isn't awesome? Bitches. It's gonna be a long hour. I love the internet, but it occurs to me that a majority of the worst things thathave happened to me in the last year had a lot to do with the internet. MaybeI'm just paranoid.
10:21: 39 minutes...
10:25: This woman lives on 16th Avenue! Lol, remember when they seemed worth making fun of? Good times.
10:44: 16 minutes now. I feel it comin down, lord, oh jesus I am losing it.
10:50: Remember when I lived on Murder row? That was fucking nuts. It's wierd fending for yourself when you're really selfish but also really cheap. I geuss that works for us nineties folks though. Or something. See I don't even know what I'm talking about.
10:52: Yes, I am moving to Halifax, probably in April.
10:53: Alright, I'm gonna start putting my shit together so I can go home and get blazed, as the kids say. This has been a long and useless day.
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